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We’re selling our 131-year-old Connecticut home that’s been in our family for over six decades. I always looked forward to the 500-mile trek from North Carolina to visit there. I didn’t realize my pre-pandemic stay would be my last. Sigh.
Our family home: collaborative drawing by 5 of our parents' grandchildren - circa 1996
In the beginning ...
The two-story white Colonial on Harriet Street, surrounded by towering New England maples in its compact front yard, has nurtured our four generations. My parents bought the home in 1958 for approximately $14K from a just-retired New York Times journalist. That was a princely sum at the time. Dad worked hard to pay the mortgage and support four kids and Mama on a teacher's salary.
 Family home - circa 1960
Mama and Dad were proud of the 1,500-square foot home perched on the corner of O’Brien Street, across from a peaceful Civil War-era cemetery.
Neighbors dubbed Dad the Mayor of Harriet Street for his generous ways and readiness to lend a hand. It was a title he cherished. During this past decade, the house on Harriet Street sheltered three generations of us under one roof. We jokingly called it Hotel 21 because people were constantly coming, staying or leaving. Three of my siblings (myself included!) boomeranged back at different times as grown-ups.  Great-Auntie still can play on the floor with her nephew
Our parents loved being surrounded by family and friends, and they welcomed everyone with open arms and unending mountains of food. The house was crowded and noisy, but our parents never minded.
As a teen, I was embarrassed by the bedlam, wishing for a calmer life in a bigger space. As an adult, I see our home in constant turmoil but always brimming with love and joy. To this day, I don't know how we jammed so many people into so many small spaces and without getting on each other's nerves too much.  Family, Faith, Country: our parents' creed
The cornerstones of Mama and Dad's 50+ years together were family, faith and country. They lived their creed every day and passed those values to us.
Our parents also wanted to live out their years on Harriet Street. And they did. Mama passed in 2011. Dad remained in the house, with care from family and health-care aides after his stroke, until he passed at age 92 in 2017. My three siblings and I left the nest long ago. My nieces and nephews, Millennials with families and careers of their own, lived everywhere from New England to Idaho. Given the area's blazing sellers’ market, my sister, the last of us to leave after moving back to Harriet Street to help care for Dad, decided she was ready for a new start, too.
Sorting 63 years of 'treasures'
Dad encouraged us all along to sift through the house and take what we wished, so we had a head start winnowing down six decades of stuff. No easy task!
While Dad was a minimalist, Mama saved EVERYTHING!
Memories
Then there are the intangibles we can't carry with us. Memories of the ups and downs of everyday life. Family traditions started on Harriet Street that are ingrained in our hearts.
Most of the time, we didn't realize those precious moments of living created lasting links that shaped a life and defined us. Celebrations We marked Christmas, birthdays, graduations, engagements, winning touchdowns, scholarships, good report cards and more. Family times in the back yard We corralled lawn chairs and chatted for hours, shaded by Mamas's sprawling Beauty Bush that she forbade Dad to prune.
Marking the seasons  Leaf raking - circa 1960
Dad loved sports and organized softball, kickball, badminton and croquet for us in the back yard as soon as the weather turned warmer.
We added an above-ground pool for a time while my parents could still tend it, spending hours floating and splashing during lazy summers. Autumn brought another tradition – leaf-raking and jumping into huge piles. We scattered more leaves as we barreled into our piles, so we'd have to contain them all over again. But what fun! Sibs and I were lucky we weren't hurt hurling ourselves down four feet from the porch into leafy heaps waiting to catch us.  Snowy day on Harriet Street - circa 1964
There was no shortage of activity during our cold New England winters. Aside from our schoolwork (Dad was a teacher, so of course studying came first!), we looked forward to ...
* Sledding * Ice skating on Five Mile Pond * Building snow forts * Playing outside until mittens froze and teeth chattered *And always ... shoveling the sidewalk and front porch! Fun, Food and Love You couldn't turn around on Harriet Street without bumping into food, conversation, children or hugs. Make no mistake: It wasn't perfect. We argued and fought. Cried over hard times. I rebelled as a sullen teen. But Harriet Street held fast. Always there when we needed it.
It's done
Our parent's home went on the market Memorial Day weekend, Mama's rose bush in the front yard blooming in anticipation
The MLS posting made it real. Every photo from the listing spins a memory, especially the shot of my childhood bedroom, nestled high on the second story next to Mama's Beauty Bush. Those images twist my heart, and I feel torn. Like the title of the last book Mama read, it is bittersweet.
I’m sad to see the end of an era.
Relieved to settle our parents’ estate and have closure. I hope the house on Harriet Street is scooped up by a family, who will love it and discover as much joy as we found in our home over the past 63 years.
Your Turn
Have you had to say good-bye to a home you loved? Settled the estate of a loved one? What was that experience like for you? What memories and treasures did you carry? I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments. 
23 Comments
6/4/2021 05:53:52 pm
I was so touched by this blog. What precious memories! My family moved so many times while I was growing up, we never stayed anywhere too long. My parents were gypsies at heart. My father, 88, still lives in their beach house, which they purchased 20 years ago. I love visiting there. My Mom, who passed away almost 6 years ago, loved that home and her pictures are everywhere. I imagine if we needed to let go of that house, I would feel sentimental about it, much like you. Thank goodness, memories last forever!
CatMichaels
6/4/2021 07:22:13 pm
Appreciate your kind words and company as I say good-bye. We were blessed to have our steadfast home for so long, Julie, especially in today’s busy world.
Hilary
6/5/2021 06:54:36 am
It's hard to do isn't it? I found it quite heart breaking when I had to sell my parents' house, the house where I'd been born too. Once everything had been removed and I had one last chance to go back I sat on the floor of my old bedroom, the sun streaming through the window, bird song outside and it all felt so at peace, which helped. I'd written a "goodbye letter" to the house - yeah I'm crazy I know - and that helped too. Hold tight to your lovely memories. Big hug. All will be well <3 x
Cat Michaels
6/5/2021 12:39:49 pm
Beyond hear breaking and hard, Hilary. I’m grateful for you comforting words and company on my good-bye journey. What a precious idea to write a farewell letter to your home. Words are powerful ways to help us process feelings. 6/7/2021 06:33:50 am
What wonderful memories, Cat! They'll never be exchanged. 6/7/2021 08:16:12 am
Cat, what a beautiful story about your family and your home where you grew up. Every detail made me want to visit and be there myself.
Cat Michaels
6/7/2021 08:33:42 am
How wise and loving of your mother to make each new home special as you moved, Rosie! Our homes have a magical,pull over us. Thanks for your company on the last visit to my childhood abode.
Cat Michaels
6/7/2021 06:19:35 pm
Susan, you are JUST the kind of buyer I hope our parents’ home goest to next! We’d love to have someone like you, who respects the history and is excited about making new memories. Thanks for sharing your story…it lifts my heart! 6/7/2021 09:32:46 am
I was very touched reading your story and it reminded me so much of how we went through the same thing when our parents passed away. It is so sad to loose all those memories. But they will live on in our heart. Thanks for sharing your awesome story.
Cat Michaels
6/7/2021 06:17:11 pm
It is beyond tough, Anita, as you well know. Memories help ease the transition. Grateful for your company on this farewell journey to my parents’ home and wishing you continued sweet recollections of yours.
Such a lovely post Cat! I shed tears reading this because both my husband and I are both at the stage of going through our parents homes to get them ready for market. It's a hard task, not because of the physical aspect but because of the flood of memories that come back as you sort through things.
Cat Michaels
6/7/2021 06:13:32 pm
Oh my, Sara! My heart goes out to you as you start sorting your parents’ home, No easy task! We took our time between tugs at the heart. Bittersweet for sure to let go and start another transition, all the best to you on this journey! 6/7/2021 12:29:23 pm
Oh Cat, my heart goes out to you. That's a life time all wrapped between four walls, and now the memories will live on in your heart and all those people who were lucky enough to spend time in your home. I'm sorry and like you I hope the next family can build new memories and happy times.
Cat Michaels
6/7/2021 05:50:53 pm
Beautifully said, Michelle…life wrapped up in four walls, indeed! Fingers crossed a family who wants a good home will find ours and make their own memories. I am grateful for your company on my walk-through. 6/7/2021 09:42:42 pm
Oh Cat I feel for you. My mum sold our family home about 12 years ago after my dad passed. She felt it was too big for her on her own, but my grandfather had built it in 1947 so I really didn't want her to sell. There are always so many memories when a home has been in the family that long, you can only hope the next family will treasure it as much as you.
Cat Michaels
6/8/2021 08:03:36 am
Sorry to hear about your grandfather’s home. Cannot imagine having built it, kept in the family, and then selling! Our sale has been tougher on my heart than I expected, Sandra. I keep falling back on the memories to keep me going.
Kelly S
6/9/2021 02:50:24 pm
What a touching walk down memory lane. Thank you for sharing with us. I pray a great family comes in to continue enjoying this special house.
Cat Michaels
6/9/2021 06:07:57 pm
Appreciate your kind words, Kelly. Our fingers are crossed we find a buyer who will love our houses and build memories there, too. 6/13/2021 08:47:48 am
What a lovely tribute to the family home. I'm sure you are full of mixed emotions.
Cat Michaels
6/13/2021 11:46:51 am
Full of emotions for sure, Rosemary. My heart doesn’t know which way is up, but it feels better when I can share what’s happening with readers like you -:D.
Cat Michaels
6/18/2021 12:29:03 pm
My 3 Sibs live nearby and did the heavy lifting to get house staged, Dena, but that sorting process beforehand was tough. I saved several small items attached to childhood memories, and it was still hard donating or tossing 60 years of stuff. Fingers crossed to find the next family to love the house, too! Your comment will be posted after it is approved.
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