CATHERINE MICHAELS, AUTHOR
  • Welcome!
  • Gull Island Romance
    • Sand, Sea, and Second Chances
  • Meet Catherine
  • Contact Catherine
  • Cat's Corner: Blogging About Books, Writing, and More
  • Children's Books by Cat Michaels
    • Sweet T and the Turtle Team >
      • Just Between Sam and Me
    • Finding Fuzzy: A You-Decide Tale of a Lost Friend
    • Sweet T and the North Wind
    • The Magical Aquarium
  • FREE STUFF in the Kids' Zone
  • Welcome!
  • Gull Island Romance
    • Sand, Sea, and Second Chances
  • Meet Catherine
  • Contact Catherine
  • Cat's Corner: Blogging About Books, Writing, and More
  • Children's Books by Cat Michaels
    • Sweet T and the Turtle Team >
      • Just Between Sam and Me
    • Finding Fuzzy: A You-Decide Tale of a Lost Friend
    • Sweet T and the North Wind
    • The Magical Aquarium
  • FREE STUFF in the Kids' Zone

Cat's Corner

Blogging About Books, Writing, Travel, Film & More

5 Ways You can Stop Bullying NOW

4/5/2019

12 Comments

 
I was in the pit of despair. My sweet 8-year-old friend, B, had been bullied at school by two other third-grade girls. 
 
Really???  THIRD grade!!! 
 
How to help B?  Stop her harassers?  Crush this ugly cycle of hurting others that has become an epidemic?  

I felt powerless and sick at heart, especially living 500 miles away from B. Turning to experts and friends who'd seen this happen before, I discovered 5 ways to stop bullying now. 
5 Ways You Can Stop Bullying NOW – catmichaelswriter.com

“I was bullied in 2nd grade by a group of kids. 
 I never forgot it.  Later on in middle school,
another pair of bullies made my life miserable until we moved….”

 
~ H, friend who was bullied

​Unlike H, I was lucky growing up.  I had only minor brushes with bullying.  
  ​
Don’t know how a painfully shy, awkward me escaped harassment during socially treacherous middle-school years. Sure, I was teased a bit about my done-at-home haircut and off-trend outfits.  Hmm, was that bullying?  But I learned to fade into the background and escape harm.
 
I might have been an upstander in elementary school, having leverage as a top broad jumper and runner who helped my class win school-wide sporting competitions.  When a group of kids threatened to stop liking me if I kept my friendship with Susanne Rickles (a kid I now recognize as being on the high-functioning end of the Asperger’s spectrum), I ignored them without consequence.
5 Ways You Can Stop Bullying NOW – catmichaelswriter.com
The impact of bullying recently hit home when I learned my third-grade friend, B, was crying and anxious about school because two classmates were making her life miserable.  

​B’s parents and teacher were on top of the situation right away, but I wanted to do something, too.  But what could I do living so far away?


I discovered five strategies from my social network and online experts to help stop bullying.
​

1. Boost Self-Confidence  
"[Powerlessness] is one of the most damaging messages that children receive when they are experiencing bullying ... the feeling that they cannot help themselves and no one will help them. Shoring up her own self-confidence will be the greatest form of support she can receive right now."
- Marlene Dillon,
​Proud2BNaturalMe and dynamo behind Facebook's #IMOVERBULLYING movement
​
2.  Be Relentless
”Keep asking questions to the school, to the parents …. Don’t let this one slip through the cracks.”
~ T, former teacher

3.  Act Swiftly with Your Village
"It takes the students, school, counselors, teachers, and parents to nip it [bullying] in the bud as fast as they can. The longer it goes on, the worse it will be for all of them."
~ R, former substitute teacher
​
4.  Act Consistently
Experts confirmed my friends’ wise counsel. The website stopbullying.gov, an excellent online resource for kids, parents, teachers, and communities, pointed to fast, unfailing adult response:
"When adults respond quickly and consistently to bullying behavior they send the message that it is not acceptable. Research shows this can stop bullying behavior over time."
- 
stopbullying.gov

5.  Find a Way YOU can Make a Difference to Stop Bullying
I struggled to come up with a way I could turn this advice into action.  As a writer, I decided to pen a letter of encouragement to this sweet child.  It wasn't much, but I didn't want to just stand  by and do nothing.
5 Ways You Can Stop Bullying NOW – catmichaelswriter.com
Cat's letter to an 8-yo friend bullied at school

B's story has a positive outcome so far.

Because she opened up to her parents, they worked with her teacher to take immediate action.  The mean girls apologized to B and, hopefully, stopped harassing her.  But damage has been done.  While B tolerates school, she remains anxious.  Her parents and teacher remain vigilant, too.  My fingers are crossed, but I fret about what school challenges B may face in her future
 
What’s your experience with bullying?  What resources or tips can you offer to stop it?  Please share in the comment section.

Picture
Subscribe

Join the fun * Join Cat's Readers' Room Team
​
​Be first to know with What's Up, 
Cat's exclusive updates just for her Readers' Room Team


Updates * Special Offers * Freebies & Fun

(btw...Cat NEVER shares email addresses and  reaches out only when there's cool news to share -- about bimonthly)
​

*****************************************

​New Readers' Room Members ...

Receive a FREE ebook when you join Cat's Team:
Sweet T and the North Wind
... a fantasy about family and the power of imagination for grades 1-4
Picture

Join Cat’s Readers' Room Team

   Twitter   Facebook   Pinterest   Goodreads   Amazon   Instagram

12 Comments
James R Milson link
4/5/2019 02:35:01 pm

A truly meaningful and important post, Cat! My first bullying experience was in the third grade, but without the attention devoted to the issue today, the only resolution was to stand up to them or give in. I stood up to them, and often for others. Sadly, other friends withdrew, submitted, and suffered all thru the years. It is so good to see this important issue receiving the focus and attention now that it warrants. Will surely be sharing this to pass along this helpful information. Your beautiful, heartfelt letter is in a word -- Brilliant -- reminding me of the "Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus" letter. So very well done. 🤠🐻❤️

Reply
Cat Michaels link
4/9/2019 03:16:34 pm

James, I am sorry to learn that you and your friends were bullied. Proud of YOU for pushing back at your tormentors. I am constantly stunned by the cruelty some exhibit; hopeful when I hear of upstanders like you.

We need to spread the world that bullying is never ok, and teach kids to recognize and take action against it. Many thanks for your kind offer to spread the message.

Reply
Rosie Russell link
4/6/2019 03:06:36 pm

Cat, your post is so important!

I loved your letter to "B" and all the wonderful things you told her.

Bullying is an awful epidemic going on in our world right now. Yes, it's been around forever, but now days, it's filled with cyber bullying which makes this issue even worse.

Getting the adults involved is key here. Having a zero tolerance for bullying at every school district level is a must. No matter how small it may mean to an adult, it always means something to a child, especially when children, middle school students, and teens don't know how to express their feelings and solve these problems on their own.

As you know Cat, you and I are going to discuss this subject in the months to come.

Best wishes to your "B" and I'm so thankful she has her supportive family and you!

Have a wonderful weekend!
Rosie

Reply
Cat Michaels link
4/9/2019 03:22:24 pm

Rosie, I can barely think about the horrors of cyberbullying! Spot on about zero tolerance. I also think workshops/lessons in school will help kids learn how to recognize and stand up to bullying.

Yes, for sure we will talk and weave this issue into a strong plot thread in the MG tale we’re writing together.

Reply
Auden Johnson link
4/8/2019 06:48:52 am

Beautiful letter. I wish these kinds of resources were around when I was a kid. I was bulled from 6th to 11th grade and it didn't seem anyone could do anything about it. I'd second the Boost-Self Confidence advice. Bulling damages that even years after it has stopped.

Reply
Cat Michaels link
4/9/2019 03:26:31 pm

My neart goes out to you for being bullied in secondary school, Auden. I cannot imagine the difficulty and helplessness you experienced. One adult can make a difference and stop that cycle of low self-esteem.

Reply
Julie Gorges link
4/8/2019 06:26:16 pm

Such important information you shared, Cat! "B" is so lucky to have someone like you in her life to support and help her through this. Loved your letter to her. Fortunately, like you, I did not experience a lot of bullying in school, but I know it's a real problem today. Your blog on the subject was great!

Reply
Cat Michaels link
4/9/2019 03:31:51 pm

julie, we were the lucky ones who escaped bullying. I fear it is getting worse today, especially with cyberbullying. B was wise to open up right away to her family and teachers, so they could take action. I also fear too many kids suffer in silence.

Reply
Sharon McAleer
4/10/2019 07:40:23 am

Beautiful letter! As a writer, what a great thing to do for B. My second book that is due out this summer, Shawn's Way, deals with someone who is a target of a person who bullies. I have seen a lot written about the impact of bullying on self esteem and suicide. But I have been seeing more about empowering kids and trying to make it stop. It does take a village, but I am glad to see us starting to take a more active stand against it.

Reply
Cat Michaels link
4/13/2019 11:57:32 am

Sharon, your new book sounds amazing. Can't wait to read it and share with B! We need to do more with empowering all kids to be upstanders. I would love to see a curriculum integrated throughout all grades to show kids HOW.

Reply
Carol Baldwin
4/19/2019 03:26:30 pm

I think sometimes the victim doesn't even realize that what he/she is experiencing is bullying. It helps to put words on it. Thanks for the post.

Reply
Cat Michaels link
5/2/2019 01:16:13 pm

Carol, it may be hard for kids to put a name to it, but they can tell bullying smashes self esteem and confidence. You're spot on: Kids need to know a language and process for kicking bullying to the curb.

Reply

Your comment will be posted after it is approved.


Leave a Reply.

    Cat Michaels

    Blogging about books, writing, family life,  travel and  more good stuff.


    Meet Cat
    ​INSIDE the pages

    a newsletter for bibliophiles on writing, books and cool stuff readers love
    Be an Insider. Download your FREE e-short story about love and new beginnings today!
    Picture
    I'M IN! Snag my free e-short story HERE
    P.S. We hate spam and keep your email safe.. 

    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture
    Picture

    Archives

    May 2024
    July 2022
    April 2022
    February 2022
    January 2022
    October 2021
    September 2021
    July 2021
    June 2021
    May 2021
    April 2021
    March 2021
    February 2021
    January 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    October 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    July 2020
    June 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    August 2019
    July 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    March 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013

Proudly powered by Weebly